Hooray for Spring! Last night, as I was relaxing in my lawn chair for a bit, surveying the results of my hard work that day (de-thatching & raking the lawn), I was suddenly overwhelmed with joy...winter is gone! Sure we may see a snowfall here or there yet, but WINTER IS GONE! My perennials are poking through the dirt and treebuds are starting to swell. I can't help but feel like new life is sprouting in me, too. It's been a rough winter. I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired. I had strep throat in mid-February, and battled variations of that for nearly a month, and it always worsened when I had a busy day/weekend. Last week, I struggled with laryngitis, which seems to be almost cleared up. This week, just sinus issues, which I can even pass off as allergies since I've been working outside a fair bit. I've been feeling better in the last couple of weeks, but something is still lingering, I fear, and am still very tired. Going to see my doctor today. Wonder if this time there will be any proof that it isn't all in my head.
Anyway didn't mean to bring the mood down! I went to a nursery yesterday, eager to start dreaming and planning and spending a $50 gift certificate I received. They were just getting organized, and I felt a little like they didn't really appreciate me there right now. So I will have to wait a little longer. I have to try to restrain myself this year; last year I went a little crazy. But this year I want to invest in some new pots, and it's apalling how much I'm being asked to pay for the really nice ones. We are planning to build our deck this summer, so I would like to have some pots for that, too. Can you tell I'm really into gardening? Last Spring, I posted How Can You Tell I'm New At This? and if you're looking for a little more "inspiration" check it out.
Friday, April 27, 2007
Tuesday, April 24, 2007
I Love My Kids!
At the dinner table tonight, there was the usual banter as my three ravenous children are filling their plates. The oldest was also dishing out some light-hearted teasing, as seems to be his specialty since entering the teenage years, and it was getting annoying - like an unending "you are too!""am not!" discussion. I finally interjected.
"Must you be so relentless with your younger brothers?"
Middle child, true to his kind, offers this defense for his older brother:
"On the road to manhood, he must beat a rough path."
To which we all had a good laugh and got down to the business of eating. Did I mention middle child is 11?
*******************
I got the message today. The one that most mothers of my shape & size will eventually get from one of their beloved offspring who are oblivious to the fact that they are at least part of the reason why their moms carry a little extra weight on their frames. Upon seeing a TV commercial on TV for a local weightloss clinic, my youngest lovingly suggested that maybe I should try their program out. I looked at him and he quickly added, "Not that I think you're fat or anything!" I decided to let him live another day anyway.
"Must you be so relentless with your younger brothers?"
Middle child, true to his kind, offers this defense for his older brother:
"On the road to manhood, he must beat a rough path."
To which we all had a good laugh and got down to the business of eating. Did I mention middle child is 11?
*******************
I got the message today. The one that most mothers of my shape & size will eventually get from one of their beloved offspring who are oblivious to the fact that they are at least part of the reason why their moms carry a little extra weight on their frames. Upon seeing a TV commercial on TV for a local weightloss clinic, my youngest lovingly suggested that maybe I should try their program out. I looked at him and he quickly added, "Not that I think you're fat or anything!" I decided to let him live another day anyway.
Pondering Pizza
When it comes to posting I have trouble remembering and commenting on the lighter fare in my life, a true testimony to the brooding kind of person that I am. Today, I feel like I need a break from my brain. Yesterday was a tough day to be at home alone with myself! It exhausted me so, and when the kids came home from school, they saw me sprawled on the floor in the TV room with blankets & pillows watching Oprah. TV is one of my vices when I just can't take it anymore, I'll admit. It has become more difficult, though, since (1) we've been down to one TV for this family of five, (2) it was moved from the living room with the comfy couch to the newly constructed family room with only less-comfortable chairs to sit in (3) children are getting older and gradually crowding those of us who are actually in charge around here out of TV time. Anyway, my youngest sits down next to me and tells me a bit about his day at school - it was a good one. His favorite part was the school bus fire safety drill at the end of the day and upon re-entering the bus, he heard a "1 & a half songs from the AM/FM stereo playing", which seemed to thrill him to no end (he even thanked God for it in his bedtime prayers)! He then proceeded to tell me that he thought it would be a good day to go out for supper. He's a bit intuitive, that one, as he often will suggest this when I'm looking a little worse for wear and like any supper I might manage to make that day will likely be equally unappealing. So I respond with a very non-commital "you think so, eh?". Shortly thereafter, the phone rings, and I'm quite sure it is hubby calling, so I get youngest to answer the phone. He loves to chat with his dad on the phone, and I love to hear him chat with his dad on the phone, and daddy loves it that at least one person in this household besides him loves to chat on the phone, so it's good all around. Anyway, he chit chats a bit and then says, "Can we go out for supper today, dad - mom thinks we should go out for supper!" By the look on his face, he was quite sure I had, until I laughed and pointed out loud enough for daddy to hear that I had said no such thing, and he realized his subtle manipulation tactics had failed. This guy scares me a little, once in a while!
I was not in the mood for going out for supper, but I did have a hankering for pizza, and since I was even less in the mood for making it, decided to order for pick-up(...hmmm...I suppose you could still chalk one up for the little guy, huh?). Pizza is never really a simple solution around here, since we all prefer different ones (Pizza Hut, Dominos, Pizza Hotline, etc.) and it seems to be less cost effective with our boys getting older and eating more. Plus middle child likes pizza but finds himself with headaches or stomach aches as a result of some of them. So I asked him which pizza he would like me to order. He said that Niakwa is the only one he knows he can eat (they order it at school on pizza Fridays) without feeling sick after. Ironically, I used to get violently ill when I ate Niakwa pizza, so we haven't ordered it ever. I always thought Niakwa was the best, too, until I finally made the connection. As a result, I have not eaten it for probably 20 years or so. A couple of years ago, I so badly wanted to try some again, so at a pizza party I ate mostly another kind but topped it off with one piece of Niakwa and low and behold it was just as delicious as I remembered it to be and glory be, I did not get sick! Yesterday, I took the big step and ordered just Niakwa pizza for me and my family. It was the cheapest pizza bill I've had in a long time (they were having a special of 2 larges for $29.99) and we all loved the pizza for a change. I could faintly hear the angel's choir "aahh-ing" in the background! I enjoyed it so much, I nearly ate myself sick for eating too much! But I didn't get sick--nobody got sick--and we even had leftovers! I had cold pizza for breakfast --Niakwa's the best for that, too. I feel like a long lost love has been returned to me! Whatever it was about Niakwa that made me sick years ago, it seems I have outgrown it...I wonder if there are other joys I am missing for fear of what once was...uugghh!...leave it to me to get all analytical again - over pizza.
I was not in the mood for going out for supper, but I did have a hankering for pizza, and since I was even less in the mood for making it, decided to order for pick-up(...hmmm...I suppose you could still chalk one up for the little guy, huh?). Pizza is never really a simple solution around here, since we all prefer different ones (Pizza Hut, Dominos, Pizza Hotline, etc.) and it seems to be less cost effective with our boys getting older and eating more. Plus middle child likes pizza but finds himself with headaches or stomach aches as a result of some of them. So I asked him which pizza he would like me to order. He said that Niakwa is the only one he knows he can eat (they order it at school on pizza Fridays) without feeling sick after. Ironically, I used to get violently ill when I ate Niakwa pizza, so we haven't ordered it ever. I always thought Niakwa was the best, too, until I finally made the connection. As a result, I have not eaten it for probably 20 years or so. A couple of years ago, I so badly wanted to try some again, so at a pizza party I ate mostly another kind but topped it off with one piece of Niakwa and low and behold it was just as delicious as I remembered it to be and glory be, I did not get sick! Yesterday, I took the big step and ordered just Niakwa pizza for me and my family. It was the cheapest pizza bill I've had in a long time (they were having a special of 2 larges for $29.99) and we all loved the pizza for a change. I could faintly hear the angel's choir "aahh-ing" in the background! I enjoyed it so much, I nearly ate myself sick for eating too much! But I didn't get sick--nobody got sick--and we even had leftovers! I had cold pizza for breakfast --Niakwa's the best for that, too. I feel like a long lost love has been returned to me! Whatever it was about Niakwa that made me sick years ago, it seems I have outgrown it...I wonder if there are other joys I am missing for fear of what once was...uugghh!...leave it to me to get all analytical again - over pizza.
Wednesday, April 18, 2007
Who Are You?
I have been snooping around a bit lately again, looking for more interesting blogs to add to my favorites (I have several, but don't link them on my site). Interestingly enough, I have discovered some blogs of people that I know a little bit about, but then am a little surprised by the things they say (or don't say) on their blogs. It is so interesting to compare the people we see face to face to the (same) people who pour out their souls in written word. Which is the real deal? Are the things we write an idealized version of who we claim to be? Or is what we write about ourselves authentic, and what those around us see is simply a mask? Really, I think we are just such complicated beings, and it's hard to package ourselves completely to present an authentic self to those around us from day to day.
I wonder if people who say "I need to find myself" ever really do. If they do, do they like who they find? or are they sorry they ever went there? How long before they discover that they no longer are that old self they found last time, and have to start the search again?! In any case, I feel sorry for them, because in reality they are struggling to know fully who they are in themselves and I think we are designed by our Creator not to. Why? Because what really matters is who we are in Him, and to not be satisfied with that means that we are looking for another god, often times in our own self.
I mentioned a few posts ago, that I was learning a lot through a Bible study called Believing God by Beth Moore, and was going to eventually share some insights. I don't just want to spew information that you can read for yourself in her book, but rather share my own experiences in relation to what I've learned. That, too, is complicated. I haven't really known where to start. But writing this post has reminded me of a statement from the Pledge of Faith that we stated and explored every week in our sessions:
1. God is who He says He is.
2. God can do what He says He can do.
3. I am who God says I am.
4. I can do all things through Christ.
5. God's Word is alive and active in me.
The Bible--God's Word--has some very specific things to say about who we are. We tend to pay closer attention, though, to who we say we are, or who others say we are. I can't think of a better way to "find myself" than to read what my Creator says about me! There is a blog that I have discovered where the author in "About Me" writes, "The essence of myself is to complicated even for me to understand. That is one of the reasons I am so glad that I know a Friend by whom I am fully known." Read Psalm 139 for more inspiration.
I wonder if people who say "I need to find myself" ever really do. If they do, do they like who they find? or are they sorry they ever went there? How long before they discover that they no longer are that old self they found last time, and have to start the search again?! In any case, I feel sorry for them, because in reality they are struggling to know fully who they are in themselves and I think we are designed by our Creator not to. Why? Because what really matters is who we are in Him, and to not be satisfied with that means that we are looking for another god, often times in our own self.
I mentioned a few posts ago, that I was learning a lot through a Bible study called Believing God by Beth Moore, and was going to eventually share some insights. I don't just want to spew information that you can read for yourself in her book, but rather share my own experiences in relation to what I've learned. That, too, is complicated. I haven't really known where to start. But writing this post has reminded me of a statement from the Pledge of Faith that we stated and explored every week in our sessions:
1. God is who He says He is.
2. God can do what He says He can do.
3. I am who God says I am.
4. I can do all things through Christ.
5. God's Word is alive and active in me.
The Bible--God's Word--has some very specific things to say about who we are. We tend to pay closer attention, though, to who we say we are, or who others say we are. I can't think of a better way to "find myself" than to read what my Creator says about me! There is a blog that I have discovered where the author in "About Me" writes, "The essence of myself is to complicated even for me to understand. That is one of the reasons I am so glad that I know a Friend by whom I am fully known." Read Psalm 139 for more inspiration.
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