Surreal moment #2: I was asked to come in for an interview, for the job(s) I applied for the other day! I was still taking in the whole moment of me actually stepping forward to submit my resume, and then this call that sent me for a loop. Thankfully I did not have much time to consider the whole thing--I got the message Monday at 5:30 and they wanted to see me Tuesday at 2:15. So I called back and confirmed the appointment, before I could talk myself out of it.
"The appointment will take about 1 hr., as we will be testing your skills, etc. and then do the interview."
Testing? Alright, reality will hit me a little sooner than I expected, but it's probably better this way, to find out how way in over my head I am before I get too wrapped up in myself. But I realized that this was an awesome beginning to finding out what I really want to do and what I am really capable of.
I walked into the office for my interview, and met someone I sort of knew also waiting their turn and chatted a bit, easing the tension for both of us, I think. While I was waiting I actually became quite relaxed and discovered that I might actually enjoy this experience. And sure enough, I did! I performed "really well" during the testing (aptitude, keyboarding, data-entry, etc.) and even when I walked into the interview room with 7 or 8 board members (I was only expecting 1 interviewer!) waiting for me, I remained calm and collected and I believe I presented myself well. When all was said and done, I felt really good about the whole thing, and honestly felt that if this was the end of the road, what I'd experienced thus far would be enough. It's a huge deal, having an interview for a dream job, after 10 years of 'missing in action'!
When it started to occur to me that I might actually get the job, I started sweating. Yes, it would be a dream job, but am I ready for it? The timing didn't feel right to me, but I had decided a few months ago that whenever a job like this got posted I would apply, thinking that it might take a few tries to get their attention. So I got their attention a little sooner than I expected to! I've prayed about this thing for quite some time now (and rallied some prayer troops in the last frantic days!), and really had to trust that God would look out for my best interest, here. I'm really not very good at making decisions, even little ones, and so I'm often begging Him to step in and 'make it happen' - His way. Some may think that is an admirable characteristic for a child of God, but I think if it becomes extreme, where one becomes too fearful to step out in faith, that is a character weakness. Yeah, for me, it more often shows up as the latter.
But through this whole experience, as positive as it was, God did speak to my heart, that now was not exactly the right time and place for this to happen. And this was confirmed today when I received the call that another applicant was chosen over me. And I was at peace with that. I even had the presence of mind to ask if there was anything I should/could do the next time I would apply for such a job that would increase my chances of getting hired. And next time, I will be a little more ready...
Wednesday, August 30, 2006
Thursday, August 24, 2006
Am I Ready For This?
Yes, this is very uncharacteristic of me, but here is my 2nd post in as many days! I'm just feeling a little angst, and thought if I put it down in words, I might feel a little better.
I walked into an office yesterday and submitted my resume to apply for a job. It was a very surreal moment for me. I have not felt like that since I graduated high school and applied for my first job, almost 20 years ago! Okay, now I feel old, to boot...but back to the issue at hand...I am not sure that I'm ready for a 'real' job. But after being out of the work force for roughly 10 years, I'm not sure that I could do anything to adequately prepare myself, either. I had a job that I did from my home office in the last few years, but that was different. No commuting, no co-workers, my boss was my hubby, work on my own schedule just a few hours a week--that kind of different.
Mostly, I'm scared of how me getting a job outside the home will affect my kids. My hope is that any job I might get would allow me to be home most of the time that they are not in school. I know that's a tall order, but so far I'm not desperate for $$, and I think I can hold out for it. Having a little more income was what initiated the whole idea of me getting back to work, but now I'm feeling more like this is something I have to do to re-introduce myself to 'the real world'. I can't be a stay-at-home-mom forever, and the longer I put it off the harder it's gonna get. But it has been my mission in the last dozen or so years to be there for my kids whenever they need me. It's hard for me to let that go. I have to remind myself that kids are resilient and adjust to life changes much better than most of us grown-ups do. Right?
But then, there's the issue of being under-qualified and inexperienced. Is there really anyone out there who would want to hire me, based on my lean resume? If someone did give me a chance and hire me, could I cut it, or would I be a disappointment? I know where I worked before the kids came along, I was good at what I did, and my co-workers always asked me after I left when I was coming back cuz they missed me. But that was a long time ago.
Anyway, by the way I'm carrying on, it sounds as though I'm going to work tomorrow! Well, this job I applied for would start in less than a week if I got it, so maybe that accounts for my high anxiety. I actually applied for the same posting a few months back, but I sent my resume in via email (because I was too close to the deadline to bring it in personally). Somehow, that didn't feel as stressful, but I didn't get the job then, or even an interview, either. I think I didn't really have time to think about it then either. Time to think about things has always been bad for me.
Anyway, I should probably get off-line so that if someone's trying to call me for an interview, they can actually get a hold of me! How's that for optimism? A wise woman once said "fake it 'til you make it". I'll try to keep that in mind.
I walked into an office yesterday and submitted my resume to apply for a job. It was a very surreal moment for me. I have not felt like that since I graduated high school and applied for my first job, almost 20 years ago! Okay, now I feel old, to boot...but back to the issue at hand...I am not sure that I'm ready for a 'real' job. But after being out of the work force for roughly 10 years, I'm not sure that I could do anything to adequately prepare myself, either. I had a job that I did from my home office in the last few years, but that was different. No commuting, no co-workers, my boss was my hubby, work on my own schedule just a few hours a week--that kind of different.
Mostly, I'm scared of how me getting a job outside the home will affect my kids. My hope is that any job I might get would allow me to be home most of the time that they are not in school. I know that's a tall order, but so far I'm not desperate for $$, and I think I can hold out for it. Having a little more income was what initiated the whole idea of me getting back to work, but now I'm feeling more like this is something I have to do to re-introduce myself to 'the real world'. I can't be a stay-at-home-mom forever, and the longer I put it off the harder it's gonna get. But it has been my mission in the last dozen or so years to be there for my kids whenever they need me. It's hard for me to let that go. I have to remind myself that kids are resilient and adjust to life changes much better than most of us grown-ups do. Right?
But then, there's the issue of being under-qualified and inexperienced. Is there really anyone out there who would want to hire me, based on my lean resume? If someone did give me a chance and hire me, could I cut it, or would I be a disappointment? I know where I worked before the kids came along, I was good at what I did, and my co-workers always asked me after I left when I was coming back cuz they missed me. But that was a long time ago.
Anyway, by the way I'm carrying on, it sounds as though I'm going to work tomorrow! Well, this job I applied for would start in less than a week if I got it, so maybe that accounts for my high anxiety. I actually applied for the same posting a few months back, but I sent my resume in via email (because I was too close to the deadline to bring it in personally). Somehow, that didn't feel as stressful, but I didn't get the job then, or even an interview, either. I think I didn't really have time to think about it then either. Time to think about things has always been bad for me.
Anyway, I should probably get off-line so that if someone's trying to call me for an interview, they can actually get a hold of me! How's that for optimism? A wise woman once said "fake it 'til you make it". I'll try to keep that in mind.
Wednesday, August 23, 2006
Bugs & Blessings
I must say, it has been a lovely summer! I was sitting outside (again) yesterday afternoon, picking tiny hitchhiker burrs out of my son's socks before throwing them in the laundry, and couldn't help but thank the Lord (stay with me...). You see, we live in "the bush" (that means surrounded by forest, wild trees & shrubs, etc. - apparently "the bush" is a term that is common around here but not everywhere), and for the 4 summers that we have lived here, this is the first where I can sit outside any old time without first dousing myself in mosquito spray. Not only that, but I don't have to put on a sweater or a raincoat first, either! It has been an unusually hot, dry summer, which I have to say, is perfect for me. It's too bad that it poses a problem for the farmers & firefighters out there, 'cause I would like it this way every year. I don't mind watering my lawn & gardens a little more often. And a summer without mosquitos--that is just heaven!
The hot & dry weather has also caused an invasion of wasps & the like. I haven't really found it to be a problem here at home, but we went camping last week, and they were bad enough that we had to plan around them (sort of). I'm glad we had a screen tent to retreat to for our meals. But our first breakfast of pancakes & bacon (which we started eating outside the screen tent, because it wasn't up yet, on account of us arriving too late & too tired the day before) was less than enjoyable with those little creatures buzzing around. So, while I cooked and waved off wasps, hubby put up the tent. The boys ate breakfast in the tent, scarfing it down before the flying fiends could get at it. I wanted to get a picture, but we were all pretty preoccupied to stop and get the camera. The syrup-y plates that stacked up when we were done invited a whole swarm. Four or five of them found their way through the tiny hole of the bottle and were swimming in our syrup! Anyway, after that morning, we learned to do things differently to minimize our vulnerability to the nasty insects. I did comment to hubby, that I would be surprised to make it through our stay without anyone getting stung. And sure enough, our youngest got it. A wasp had gotten under his shirt and I guess felt trapped and stung him. He tried to be brave about it and didn't cry, but was white as a ghost & felt sick for about a half hour! None of our boys had ever been stung at all before, so I hoped that being stung would at least alleviate that fear of the unknown. So while the youngest became running scared of everything that buzzed around him, our middle son just stayed still and let them crawl all over him if necessary. He even let one land on his face, cleaning up the remains of his last meal off of his lips!! We told him that was unnecessary and maybe even asking for trouble. We learned that the wasps are almost non-existent in the evenings, and by supper-time we could eat outside and sit around the fire safely. We had an enjoyable 4 night stay at our favorite campground, and it was the kind of relaxation we have not had for quite some time. Hubby had to be readily available by cell-phone and emails the first 2 days, but the weekend was work-free. Of course, Friday brought in all the weekend partiers, and we (hubby & I) hardly slept a wink on account of the rowdies in the 3 sites across from us. They christened their weekend shortly after arrival with smoking and passing around something and smoking it, and I'm not sure what they ate but they had plenty to drink. The conversation & behavior was such that I was very busy trying to occupy my children's minds, eyes & ears with whatever I could to distract them. We decided to file a complaint at the campground office, and while the officers won't tell you how they will take care of the problem, we did notice a few less people the next night, and it was much quieter, too. They were even shush-ing each other quite a bit! I don't like being a party-pooper, but my kids don't need to see & hear that stuff. And I need my sleep! Everything else about the camping trip was really enjoyable. This was the closest thing to a holiday we'll have this year, so I'm glad it went well. We had great weather--no rain, and even some real beach weather. I enjoy the beach a whole lot more now that my kids are older and are more confident in the water. I can actually relax a bit, and playing in the water with them is more fun, too. I was also reminded how fortunate I am to have such good kids. Almost everywhere you look, you see some kid throwing a tantrum or disregarding their parents. While I am aware that my time may be coming, I am thankful for the real blessing that they have been/are to me (& others). I really enjoy being with them and watching them. It saddens me that summer's almost over...enjoy the blessings while you can!
The hot & dry weather has also caused an invasion of wasps & the like. I haven't really found it to be a problem here at home, but we went camping last week, and they were bad enough that we had to plan around them (sort of). I'm glad we had a screen tent to retreat to for our meals. But our first breakfast of pancakes & bacon (which we started eating outside the screen tent, because it wasn't up yet, on account of us arriving too late & too tired the day before) was less than enjoyable with those little creatures buzzing around. So, while I cooked and waved off wasps, hubby put up the tent. The boys ate breakfast in the tent, scarfing it down before the flying fiends could get at it. I wanted to get a picture, but we were all pretty preoccupied to stop and get the camera. The syrup-y plates that stacked up when we were done invited a whole swarm. Four or five of them found their way through the tiny hole of the bottle and were swimming in our syrup! Anyway, after that morning, we learned to do things differently to minimize our vulnerability to the nasty insects. I did comment to hubby, that I would be surprised to make it through our stay without anyone getting stung. And sure enough, our youngest got it. A wasp had gotten under his shirt and I guess felt trapped and stung him. He tried to be brave about it and didn't cry, but was white as a ghost & felt sick for about a half hour! None of our boys had ever been stung at all before, so I hoped that being stung would at least alleviate that fear of the unknown. So while the youngest became running scared of everything that buzzed around him, our middle son just stayed still and let them crawl all over him if necessary. He even let one land on his face, cleaning up the remains of his last meal off of his lips!! We told him that was unnecessary and maybe even asking for trouble. We learned that the wasps are almost non-existent in the evenings, and by supper-time we could eat outside and sit around the fire safely. We had an enjoyable 4 night stay at our favorite campground, and it was the kind of relaxation we have not had for quite some time. Hubby had to be readily available by cell-phone and emails the first 2 days, but the weekend was work-free. Of course, Friday brought in all the weekend partiers, and we (hubby & I) hardly slept a wink on account of the rowdies in the 3 sites across from us. They christened their weekend shortly after arrival with smoking and passing around something and smoking it, and I'm not sure what they ate but they had plenty to drink. The conversation & behavior was such that I was very busy trying to occupy my children's minds, eyes & ears with whatever I could to distract them. We decided to file a complaint at the campground office, and while the officers won't tell you how they will take care of the problem, we did notice a few less people the next night, and it was much quieter, too. They were even shush-ing each other quite a bit! I don't like being a party-pooper, but my kids don't need to see & hear that stuff. And I need my sleep! Everything else about the camping trip was really enjoyable. This was the closest thing to a holiday we'll have this year, so I'm glad it went well. We had great weather--no rain, and even some real beach weather. I enjoy the beach a whole lot more now that my kids are older and are more confident in the water. I can actually relax a bit, and playing in the water with them is more fun, too. I was also reminded how fortunate I am to have such good kids. Almost everywhere you look, you see some kid throwing a tantrum or disregarding their parents. While I am aware that my time may be coming, I am thankful for the real blessing that they have been/are to me (& others). I really enjoy being with them and watching them. It saddens me that summer's almost over...enjoy the blessings while you can!
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