The Silence Speaks Loud and Clear

I hope you who are reading out there get my sometimes wierd sense of humor--especially when it comes to yesterday's blog. I mean no disrespect to those who are experiencing real loss. But the truth is I do feel like I've lost a friend. I'm not emotional about it, it's just...empty. I have the radio on today, for a little company. Yesterday was my first real day at home alone without TV, and it was lonely (and those who know me, know I don't get lonely often). I sat down on the sofa several times yesterday, grabbed the remote, and then, "oh yeah...it's dead." I'm not kidding! It has become a serious habit for me. I'm also used to ending my day with TV. I got home from a church meeting last night, tucked my kids into bed, and then wondered what to do next. I tinkered around a bit, then decided to climb into bed and maybe do some reading! I don't really like to read, so now you know I'm desperate. But I learned a small (maybe potentially big) lesson yesterday...
I needed to find a devotional for our meeting last night, and I spent literally most of the day looking through my Bible & devotional books for one (that's the perfectionist in me--there's gotta be something better). And after a few hours of searching, I found one titled, "How God Gets Our Attention". This especially caught my eye, as a friend had shared his own attention-grabbing experiences with us this past week. He drives a tractor-trailer and was hundreds of miles from home, driving a lonely stretch of highway with no city lights in sight. He had a buddy driving not far behind him, but other than that, alone. Without warning he had pain in his chest, and numbness in his left arm. This feeling did not go away and intensified, and he was really getting concerned. He picked up his cell-phone to call someone--his wife, 911, someone--but he had no cell service. He noticed a road sign that said 60 miles to the nearest town. He had no highway shoulder to pull over onto, and was starting to panic and feeling light-headed. He radio-ed the trucker behind him and told him what was going on, but they both knew there was nothing they could do but keep moving to the nearest hospital. He was completely at the mercy of God, there was nothing else in these moments that was going to fix this. This was definitely God begging his attention, as he tells it. And while he is a born-again Christian and a true servant of God, he knew that God was taking great measures to communicate with him, that something important needed to be addressed and God would not be overlooked. As soon as he was in cell-range of the nearest city, he called 911 and an ambulance came out to meet him. His trucker buddy assured him that his truck and load would be taken care of, and off he went to the emergency room, in a strange city, surrounded by people he didn't know, but that were giving him all their attention and the best of care. Of course there is a lot more to the story, but you know he eventually made it home safe & sound, or else he would not have shared it with us. So, the theme around here in the last few days has been, How God Gets Our Attention.
And then--I'm really switching gears here, so stay with me--on a much smaller scale than life & death, our TV quit working. Is it any coincidence that it quit just in time for the new TV season, which I was really looking forward too? I don't think so. I have realized, only because I was forced to, that the TV is a huge vice for me, and that it keeps me from doing, listening, reading--all kinds of things that God would rather see me do. More specifically, His Voice is often drowned out by all the noise and chaos we surround ourselves with. And so sometimes He chooses to speak to us in a life or death moment, and sometimes in the little disruptions of everyday living. And whether it be through a friend's terrifying experience or my TV dying, right now, I'm listening.
"Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth." Psalm 46:10 NIV

Obituary Of A Dear Friend

This past weekend, a dear friend of mine died. Actually, I haven't fully accepted that it really has happened, but when I go back to check, it's always the same conclusion. Dead. I have told myself for years that this would happen 'any day now', but now that it's here, I'm a little in shock.
She has been a good friend to me for the last 16 years, and I gave her more than enough of my attention & time, too. She was there for me, any time, day or night, any day of the week. I looked forward to re-living old experiences with her, and anticipated the new, exciting ones, too. Many sleepless nights I spent quietly with her, until I was lulled to sleep. Many painful hours, when nothing could distract me, she comforted me and kept me company. When my children were small, she was always available to entertain my children for a while, so I could grab a nap or get some dishes done. She has made me laugh and cry, sometimes when it seemed I'd forgotten how, or she caught me off guard...I've learned alot from her--she could spew information about any topic you could think of, and she could cause the imagination to run wild. She has told me and shown me breath-taking pictures of so many beautiful places on this earth, and I hope to someday go see some of them for myself. She also exposed me to some of the ugliness of the world, and made me thankful for the blessings in my life. She had a lot of connections--she even introduced me to Oprah and Dr. Phil! I'm not sure how I will cope without her...
She was always easily turned on...and off, for that matter. Until Saturday night.
I was watching my hubby work in the basement, and our boys decided to watch a DVD. But they came in a rush down the stairs and reported that something was terribly wrong. They tried to turn the television on, but nothing happened! We remained calm for the moment, and said we would be up shortly to fix the problem. But when we tried to turn it on, too, nothing happened. Upon pressing the POWER button, there was the familiar 'click' of TV On, followed by an involuntary 'click' of TV Off! We tried several different methods to revive her, but our efforts could not bring her back. She was gone.
In recent years, I often said, if our TV ever kicked the bucket, I wouldn't replace it right away. We would learn to live without it, and maybe even enjoy life a little more. I think it may be harder than I thought.
In lieu of flowers, friends may make a donation towards the purchase of a new one. Hubby is dreaming of a big screen...