When it comes to posting I have trouble remembering and commenting on the lighter fare in my life, a true testimony to the brooding kind of person that I am. Today, I feel like I need a break from my brain. Yesterday was a tough day to be at home alone with myself! It exhausted me so, and when the kids came home from school, they saw me sprawled on the floor in the TV room with blankets & pillows watching Oprah. TV is one of my vices when I just can't take it anymore, I'll admit. It has become more difficult, though, since (1) we've been down to one TV for this family of five, (2) it was moved from the living room with the comfy couch to the newly constructed family room with only less-comfortable chairs to sit in (3) children are getting older and gradually crowding those of us who are actually in charge around here out of TV time. Anyway, my youngest sits down next to me and tells me a bit about his day at school - it was a good one. His favorite part was the school bus fire safety drill at the end of the day and upon re-entering the bus, he heard a "1 & a half songs from the AM/FM stereo playing", which seemed to thrill him to no end (he even thanked God for it in his bedtime prayers)! He then proceeded to tell me that he thought it would be a good day to go out for supper. He's a bit intuitive, that one, as he often will suggest this when I'm looking a little worse for wear and like any supper I might manage to make that day will likely be equally unappealing. So I respond with a very non-commital "you think so, eh?". Shortly thereafter, the phone rings, and I'm quite sure it is hubby calling, so I get youngest to answer the phone. He loves to chat with his dad on the phone, and I love to hear him chat with his dad on the phone, and daddy loves it that at least one person in this household besides him loves to chat on the phone, so it's good all around. Anyway, he chit chats a bit and then says, "Can we go out for supper today, dad - mom thinks we should go out for supper!" By the look on his face, he was quite sure I had, until I laughed and pointed out loud enough for daddy to hear that I had said no such thing, and he realized his subtle manipulation tactics had failed. This guy scares me a little, once in a while!
I was not in the mood for going out for supper, but I did have a hankering for pizza, and since I was even less in the mood for making it, decided to order for pick-up(...hmmm...I suppose you could still chalk one up for the little guy, huh?). Pizza is never really a simple solution around here, since we all prefer different ones (Pizza Hut, Dominos, Pizza Hotline, etc.) and it seems to be less cost effective with our boys getting older and eating more. Plus middle child likes pizza but finds himself with headaches or stomach aches as a result of some of them. So I asked him which pizza he would like me to order. He said that Niakwa is the only one he knows he can eat (they order it at school on pizza Fridays) without feeling sick after. Ironically, I used to get violently ill when I ate Niakwa pizza, so we haven't ordered it ever. I always thought Niakwa was the best, too, until I finally made the connection. As a result, I have not eaten it for probably 20 years or so. A couple of years ago, I so badly wanted to try some again, so at a pizza party I ate mostly another kind but topped it off with one piece of Niakwa and low and behold it was just as delicious as I remembered it to be and glory be, I did not get sick! Yesterday, I took the big step and ordered just Niakwa pizza for me and my family. It was the cheapest pizza bill I've had in a long time (they were having a special of 2 larges for $29.99) and we all loved the pizza for a change. I could faintly hear the angel's choir "aahh-ing" in the background! I enjoyed it so much, I nearly ate myself sick for eating too much! But I didn't get sick--nobody got sick--and we even had leftovers! I had cold pizza for breakfast --Niakwa's the best for that, too. I feel like a long lost love has been returned to me! Whatever it was about Niakwa that made me sick years ago, it seems I have outgrown it...I wonder if there are other joys I am missing for fear of what once was...uugghh!...leave it to me to get all analytical again - over pizza.
Showing posts with label obsessions. Show all posts
Showing posts with label obsessions. Show all posts
Tuesday, April 24, 2007
Tuesday, September 19, 2006
The Silence Speaks Loud and Clear
I hope you who are reading out there get my sometimes wierd sense of humor--especially when it comes to yesterday's blog. I mean no disrespect to those who are experiencing real loss. But the truth is I do feel like I've lost a friend. I'm not emotional about it, it's just...empty. I have the radio on today, for a little company. Yesterday was my first real day at home alone without TV, and it was lonely (and those who know me, know I don't get lonely often). I sat down on the sofa several times yesterday, grabbed the remote, and then, "oh yeah...it's dead." I'm not kidding! It has become a serious habit for me. I'm also used to ending my day with TV. I got home from a church meeting last night, tucked my kids into bed, and then wondered what to do next. I tinkered around a bit, then decided to climb into bed and maybe do some reading! I don't really like to read, so now you know I'm desperate. But I learned a small (maybe potentially big) lesson yesterday...
I needed to find a devotional for our meeting last night, and I spent literally most of the day looking through my Bible & devotional books for one (that's the perfectionist in me--there's gotta be something better). And after a few hours of searching, I found one titled, "How God Gets Our Attention". This especially caught my eye, as a friend had shared his own attention-grabbing experiences with us this past week. He drives a tractor-trailer and was hundreds of miles from home, driving a lonely stretch of highway with no city lights in sight. He had a buddy driving not far behind him, but other than that, alone. Without warning he had pain in his chest, and numbness in his left arm. This feeling did not go away and intensified, and he was really getting concerned. He picked up his cell-phone to call someone--his wife, 911, someone--but he had no cell service. He noticed a road sign that said 60 miles to the nearest town. He had no highway shoulder to pull over onto, and was starting to panic and feeling light-headed. He radio-ed the trucker behind him and told him what was going on, but they both knew there was nothing they could do but keep moving to the nearest hospital. He was completely at the mercy of God, there was nothing else in these moments that was going to fix this. This was definitely God begging his attention, as he tells it. And while he is a born-again Christian and a true servant of God, he knew that God was taking great measures to communicate with him, that something important needed to be addressed and God would not be overlooked. As soon as he was in cell-range of the nearest city, he called 911 and an ambulance came out to meet him. His trucker buddy assured him that his truck and load would be taken care of, and off he went to the emergency room, in a strange city, surrounded by people he didn't know, but that were giving him all their attention and the best of care. Of course there is a lot more to the story, but you know he eventually made it home safe & sound, or else he would not have shared it with us. So, the theme around here in the last few days has been, How God Gets Our Attention.
And then--I'm really switching gears here, so stay with me--on a much smaller scale than life & death, our TV quit working. Is it any coincidence that it quit just in time for the new TV season, which I was really looking forward too? I don't think so. I have realized, only because I was forced to, that the TV is a huge vice for me, and that it keeps me from doing, listening, reading--all kinds of things that God would rather see me do. More specifically, His Voice is often drowned out by all the noise and chaos we surround ourselves with. And so sometimes He chooses to speak to us in a life or death moment, and sometimes in the little disruptions of everyday living. And whether it be through a friend's terrifying experience or my TV dying, right now, I'm listening.
"Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth." Psalm 46:10 NIV
I needed to find a devotional for our meeting last night, and I spent literally most of the day looking through my Bible & devotional books for one (that's the perfectionist in me--there's gotta be something better). And after a few hours of searching, I found one titled, "How God Gets Our Attention". This especially caught my eye, as a friend had shared his own attention-grabbing experiences with us this past week. He drives a tractor-trailer and was hundreds of miles from home, driving a lonely stretch of highway with no city lights in sight. He had a buddy driving not far behind him, but other than that, alone. Without warning he had pain in his chest, and numbness in his left arm. This feeling did not go away and intensified, and he was really getting concerned. He picked up his cell-phone to call someone--his wife, 911, someone--but he had no cell service. He noticed a road sign that said 60 miles to the nearest town. He had no highway shoulder to pull over onto, and was starting to panic and feeling light-headed. He radio-ed the trucker behind him and told him what was going on, but they both knew there was nothing they could do but keep moving to the nearest hospital. He was completely at the mercy of God, there was nothing else in these moments that was going to fix this. This was definitely God begging his attention, as he tells it. And while he is a born-again Christian and a true servant of God, he knew that God was taking great measures to communicate with him, that something important needed to be addressed and God would not be overlooked. As soon as he was in cell-range of the nearest city, he called 911 and an ambulance came out to meet him. His trucker buddy assured him that his truck and load would be taken care of, and off he went to the emergency room, in a strange city, surrounded by people he didn't know, but that were giving him all their attention and the best of care. Of course there is a lot more to the story, but you know he eventually made it home safe & sound, or else he would not have shared it with us. So, the theme around here in the last few days has been, How God Gets Our Attention.
And then--I'm really switching gears here, so stay with me--on a much smaller scale than life & death, our TV quit working. Is it any coincidence that it quit just in time for the new TV season, which I was really looking forward too? I don't think so. I have realized, only because I was forced to, that the TV is a huge vice for me, and that it keeps me from doing, listening, reading--all kinds of things that God would rather see me do. More specifically, His Voice is often drowned out by all the noise and chaos we surround ourselves with. And so sometimes He chooses to speak to us in a life or death moment, and sometimes in the little disruptions of everyday living. And whether it be through a friend's terrifying experience or my TV dying, right now, I'm listening.
"Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth." Psalm 46:10 NIV
Monday, September 18, 2006
Obituary Of A Dear Friend
This past weekend, a dear friend of mine died. Actually, I haven't fully accepted that it really has happened, but when I go back to check, it's always the same conclusion. Dead. I have told myself for years that this would happen 'any day now', but now that it's here, I'm a little in shock.
She has been a good friend to me for the last 16 years, and I gave her more than enough of my attention & time, too. She was there for me, any time, day or night, any day of the week. I looked forward to re-living old experiences with her, and anticipated the new, exciting ones, too. Many sleepless nights I spent quietly with her, until I was lulled to sleep. Many painful hours, when nothing could distract me, she comforted me and kept me company. When my children were small, she was always available to entertain my children for a while, so I could grab a nap or get some dishes done. She has made me laugh and cry, sometimes when it seemed I'd forgotten how, or she caught me off guard...I've learned alot from her--she could spew information about any topic you could think of, and she could cause the imagination to run wild. She has told me and shown me breath-taking pictures of so many beautiful places on this earth, and I hope to someday go see some of them for myself. She also exposed me to some of the ugliness of the world, and made me thankful for the blessings in my life. She had a lot of connections--she even introduced me to Oprah and Dr. Phil! I'm not sure how I will cope without her...
She was always easily turned on...and off, for that matter. Until Saturday night.
I was watching my hubby work in the basement, and our boys decided to watch a DVD. But they came in a rush down the stairs and reported that something was terribly wrong. They tried to turn the television on, but nothing happened! We remained calm for the moment, and said we would be up shortly to fix the problem. But when we tried to turn it on, too, nothing happened. Upon pressing the POWER button, there was the familiar 'click' of TV On, followed by an involuntary 'click' of TV Off! We tried several different methods to revive her, but our efforts could not bring her back. She was gone.
In recent years, I often said, if our TV ever kicked the bucket, I wouldn't replace it right away. We would learn to live without it, and maybe even enjoy life a little more. I think it may be harder than I thought.
In lieu of flowers, friends may make a donation towards the purchase of a new one. Hubby is dreaming of a big screen...
She has been a good friend to me for the last 16 years, and I gave her more than enough of my attention & time, too. She was there for me, any time, day or night, any day of the week. I looked forward to re-living old experiences with her, and anticipated the new, exciting ones, too. Many sleepless nights I spent quietly with her, until I was lulled to sleep. Many painful hours, when nothing could distract me, she comforted me and kept me company. When my children were small, she was always available to entertain my children for a while, so I could grab a nap or get some dishes done. She has made me laugh and cry, sometimes when it seemed I'd forgotten how, or she caught me off guard...I've learned alot from her--she could spew information about any topic you could think of, and she could cause the imagination to run wild. She has told me and shown me breath-taking pictures of so many beautiful places on this earth, and I hope to someday go see some of them for myself. She also exposed me to some of the ugliness of the world, and made me thankful for the blessings in my life. She had a lot of connections--she even introduced me to Oprah and Dr. Phil! I'm not sure how I will cope without her...
She was always easily turned on...and off, for that matter. Until Saturday night.
I was watching my hubby work in the basement, and our boys decided to watch a DVD. But they came in a rush down the stairs and reported that something was terribly wrong. They tried to turn the television on, but nothing happened! We remained calm for the moment, and said we would be up shortly to fix the problem. But when we tried to turn it on, too, nothing happened. Upon pressing the POWER button, there was the familiar 'click' of TV On, followed by an involuntary 'click' of TV Off! We tried several different methods to revive her, but our efforts could not bring her back. She was gone.
In recent years, I often said, if our TV ever kicked the bucket, I wouldn't replace it right away. We would learn to live without it, and maybe even enjoy life a little more. I think it may be harder than I thought.
In lieu of flowers, friends may make a donation towards the purchase of a new one. Hubby is dreaming of a big screen...
Thursday, June 15, 2006
I think I'm addicted...
Since I was introduced to the world of blogging just a couple of weeks ago (thanx wm!), I have been sucked into the black hole of cyberspace! I can't help myself, I just keep clicking 'next blog' like some kind of junkie. Like the gambler, I am always hoping that 'the next one will be the payoff' - something in ENGLISH, that isn't about politics or World Cup Soccer. Fortunately, my kids and hubby jerk me back into the real world every now and then with questions like:
Are we gonna have supper any time soon?
Are you coming to bed tonight?
Did you accidentally crazy-glue your index finger to the mouse?
I am one who easily gets addicted to things--games, food, hobbies--usually nothing too dangerous (I thank God I never gave smoking an honest try!), and usually not for an extended amount of time. Probably because I do really care about people more. Herein lies the problem: there are a lot of people out there blogging about some serious issues, and I can't help but feel like they need me to listen! I think I am officially co-dependent. I've always suspected it, but now I'm convinced. I feel sorry for those who post for months & months, and never get any comments. Of course, not everyone that's out there blogging is looking for feedback, but what if they are? So, when I come across someone who seems like they are, I usually try to send them a friendly comment. Just doing my part to make the world a better place!
Well, I think I should get on with my day...groceries to buy, flowers to water, laundry to do, supper to plan...I should probably bake some cookies today, as my youngest reminded me that I said I would yesterday, with just a little guilt-trip dripping off the end. Sorry to all my fellow bloggers out there, but today my little one needs me to be the hero and bake some cookies, so hopefully someone else will read your posts and make your day! See, I can quit anytime I want...
Are we gonna have supper any time soon?
Are you coming to bed tonight?
Did you accidentally crazy-glue your index finger to the mouse?
I am one who easily gets addicted to things--games, food, hobbies--usually nothing too dangerous (I thank God I never gave smoking an honest try!), and usually not for an extended amount of time. Probably because I do really care about people more. Herein lies the problem: there are a lot of people out there blogging about some serious issues, and I can't help but feel like they need me to listen! I think I am officially co-dependent. I've always suspected it, but now I'm convinced. I feel sorry for those who post for months & months, and never get any comments. Of course, not everyone that's out there blogging is looking for feedback, but what if they are? So, when I come across someone who seems like they are, I usually try to send them a friendly comment. Just doing my part to make the world a better place!
Well, I think I should get on with my day...groceries to buy, flowers to water, laundry to do, supper to plan...I should probably bake some cookies today, as my youngest reminded me that I said I would yesterday, with just a little guilt-trip dripping off the end. Sorry to all my fellow bloggers out there, but today my little one needs me to be the hero and bake some cookies, so hopefully someone else will read your posts and make your day! See, I can quit anytime I want...
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