A 3-Minute Life Story

Can I have a few minutes of your time?

"I grew up in a Christian home, and so from very young I knew who Jesus was and why it is important to have a relationship with Him. That's not to say that I had a picture-perfect life. Like everyone else who is born onto this planet, I have faults and issues that I struggle with. But knowing Jesus has made the difference between living a life of constant conflict and suffering, and living a life of hope and security.

One of the strongest driving forces in my life was the need to be in control of things. My ideas were always better, I was always right, and if things didn't go the way I thought they should, the results would be less than perfect, maybe even disastrous. Looking back, I can see several instances where God tried to teach me some life lessons about learning to let things go, although I didn't see it then and therefore missed opportunities to learn from my mistakes.

But...about 10 years ago, my hubby and I filed for bankruptcy. A few years earlier, we had purchased a hog farm. At first, the farm was doing well and the future looked very promising for us. Then we hit some hard financial times, as hog market prices fell and feed prices soared, and a devastating disease hit our herd. To top it all off, in desperation some business decisions were made that made things worse. It was a point in my life were things were definitely out of my control. The fact that my hubby and I were not in agreement in how to solve these problems only made our already difficult marriage more miserable. As I prayed and prayed about this desperate situation, God told me the same thing over and over: 'This is not going to work out the way you want it to, but you need to trust Me to see you through it.' It was about a year that I struggled to "let go", as our debt grew and our marriage continued to fall apart. I was not about to break my marriage vows and divorce my husband, but I was sure I was doomed to life of misery in staying. Still, I tried to believe God, that He would somehow see us through. Eventually, our financial advisors confirmed to us that we would need to file for bankruptcy. Let go. Hubby and I were in agreement that this was the next step to take. And while there were many hardships in that decision and the months and years to follow, the healing in our marriage began. When I think of how ugly our marriage had been, and how God has turned things around, I am in awe--and it gives me hope for any hurting marriage out there. And while I have faith that God is completely in control of everything and can deliver me from any desperate, hopeless situation with one word from His holy lips, I also know that He is still in control when He simply says He'll see me through to the other side. I am learning to 'let go and let God', and He is proving Himself faithful over and over again."

We were given an assignment in our adult Sunday School class to prepare a 3-minute testimony that we could easily share with someone who didn't know Jesus. I have shared my testimony, or life story, before in Christian circles, but I could never keep it to just a few minutes! Jesus has been a big part of my life for many years now, and there's a lot to say about our relationship. It was a definite challenge for me to whittle it down to a few minutes that still held the important message - that having a personal relationship with Jesus Christ makes all the difference. My life story (and everybody has one) is a great introduction to the message of Salvation provided by a loving God through His Son Jesus Christ.

If you are a Christian, I challenge you to prepare your own 3-minute life story, keeping a few points in mind:
1) What has been a driving force in your life? Some general factors - fear, anger, a need to please others, materialism, guilt, etc.(mine was a need to be in contol)
2) What was the crisis or event that caused you to seek out God?
3) How has knowing Jesus made the difference in your life?
4) Prepare and practice telling your story, so that you are ready when someone is looking for answers that only Jesus can give.
"But in your hearts set apart Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have..." - I Peter 3:15

If you are not a Christian, but would like to know more about having a relationship with Jesus, I'd be glad to tell you the whole story. You can comment here or e-mail me at rsmarten (at) mts (dot) net.

I Love My Kids!

At the dinner table tonight, there was the usual banter as my three ravenous children are filling their plates. The oldest was also dishing out some light-hearted teasing, as seems to be his specialty since entering the teenage years, and it was getting annoying - like an unending "you are too!""am not!" discussion. I finally interjected.

"Must you be so relentless with your younger brothers?"

Middle child, true to his kind, offers this defense for his older brother:

"On the road to manhood, he must beat a rough path."

To which we all had a good laugh and got down to the business of eating. Did I mention middle child is 11?

*******************

I got the message today. The one that most mothers of my shape & size will eventually get from one of their beloved offspring who are oblivious to the fact that they are at least part of the reason why their moms carry a little extra weight on their frames. Upon seeing a TV commercial on TV for a local weightloss clinic, my youngest lovingly suggested that maybe I should try their program out. I looked at him and he quickly added, "Not that I think you're fat or anything!" I decided to let him live another day anyway.

Pondering Pizza

When it comes to posting I have trouble remembering and commenting on the lighter fare in my life, a true testimony to the brooding kind of person that I am. Today, I feel like I need a break from my brain. Yesterday was a tough day to be at home alone with myself! It exhausted me so, and when the kids came home from school, they saw me sprawled on the floor in the TV room with blankets & pillows watching Oprah. TV is one of my vices when I just can't take it anymore, I'll admit. It has become more difficult, though, since (1) we've been down to one TV for this family of five, (2) it was moved from the living room with the comfy couch to the newly constructed family room with only less-comfortable chairs to sit in (3) children are getting older and gradually crowding those of us who are actually in charge around here out of TV time. Anyway, my youngest sits down next to me and tells me a bit about his day at school - it was a good one. His favorite part was the school bus fire safety drill at the end of the day and upon re-entering the bus, he heard a "1 & a half songs from the AM/FM stereo playing", which seemed to thrill him to no end (he even thanked God for it in his bedtime prayers)! He then proceeded to tell me that he thought it would be a good day to go out for supper. He's a bit intuitive, that one, as he often will suggest this when I'm looking a little worse for wear and like any supper I might manage to make that day will likely be equally unappealing. So I respond with a very non-commital "you think so, eh?". Shortly thereafter, the phone rings, and I'm quite sure it is hubby calling, so I get youngest to answer the phone. He loves to chat with his dad on the phone, and I love to hear him chat with his dad on the phone, and daddy loves it that at least one person in this household besides him loves to chat on the phone, so it's good all around. Anyway, he chit chats a bit and then says, "Can we go out for supper today, dad - mom thinks we should go out for supper!" By the look on his face, he was quite sure I had, until I laughed and pointed out loud enough for daddy to hear that I had said no such thing, and he realized his subtle manipulation tactics had failed. This guy scares me a little, once in a while!
I was not in the mood for going out for supper, but I did have a hankering for pizza, and since I was even less in the mood for making it, decided to order for pick-up(...hmmm...I suppose you could still chalk one up for the little guy, huh?). Pizza is never really a simple solution around here, since we all prefer different ones (Pizza Hut, Dominos, Pizza Hotline, etc.) and it seems to be less cost effective with our boys getting older and eating more. Plus middle child likes pizza but finds himself with headaches or stomach aches as a result of some of them. So I asked him which pizza he would like me to order. He said that Niakwa is the only one he knows he can eat (they order it at school on pizza Fridays) without feeling sick after. Ironically, I used to get violently ill when I ate Niakwa pizza, so we haven't ordered it ever. I always thought Niakwa was the best, too, until I finally made the connection. As a result, I have not eaten it for probably 20 years or so. A couple of years ago, I so badly wanted to try some again, so at a pizza party I ate mostly another kind but topped it off with one piece of Niakwa and low and behold it was just as delicious as I remembered it to be and glory be, I did not get sick! Yesterday, I took the big step and ordered just Niakwa pizza for me and my family. It was the cheapest pizza bill I've had in a long time (they were having a special of 2 larges for $29.99) and we all loved the pizza for a change. I could faintly hear the angel's choir "aahh-ing" in the background! I enjoyed it so much, I nearly ate myself sick for eating too much! But I didn't get sick--nobody got sick--and we even had leftovers! I had cold pizza for breakfast --Niakwa's the best for that, too. I feel like a long lost love has been returned to me! Whatever it was about Niakwa that made me sick years ago, it seems I have outgrown it...I wonder if there are other joys I am missing for fear of what once was...uugghh!...leave it to me to get all analytical again - over pizza.

Peace On Earth

It's been a while again since my last post, but I have been very busy in the last few months. We are nearly done with our basement reno, and the kids are happy to have a space of their own again (parents, too!). We have some issues with our new carpet, but hope that'll be ironed out before too long and then we can officially move in.
I felt the need to post because it is Christmas, and being a Christian, this season is especially meaningful. We are celebrating the birth of our Savior, Jesus Christ--a gracious gift from God to all mankind. And it's fun to tie that in with giving gifts to our loved ones, and just generally celebrating & having fun. Doesn't that sound lovely? So why am I so bummed? So exhausted? So ready to pack up and leave and go far, far away?
It's just too much! Everybody wants a Christmas party or banquet. Everybody wants to exchange gifts. Everybody wants you to bring food & goodies. Everybody has a pageant or a concert you have to see. Well, how about a Christmas season of nothing but 'peace on earth'--where we actually have the time to sit down and reflect on what this season really means to us?
By now, you must be feeling the temptation to dismiss me as a Scrooge. But wait: it's not that I don't like Christmas...it's that I don't like what Christmas has been made into.
We have friends who are missionaries in a remote mountain jungle, and every Christmas that they spend out there is so very different than the ones they spend out here when on furlough. Most of the people they live around are poor, first of all, so the extravagance is non-existent. It is a very 'low-key' kind of celebration season. I told them (they are here this Christmas) that if I can ever afford to take the trip to visit them, I will plan it for the month of December. I long to experience what Christmas is supposed to be.
Thankfully, I feel like 'the worst' is behind me, as Christmas Eve is just 2 days away. I look forward to spending a few days of down time with our families, and not racing through the shopping malls searching desperately for the perfect gift for someone who already has everything. I've done no 'Christmas baking', which is highly unusual for me, but intend to make a few simple family favorites in the next day or two. Because Christmas Eve falls on Sunday this year, we have our Sunday School program in the morning, and the rest of the day is ours! We have learned to celebrate our own (family) Christmas whenever it works best around here-- 23rd, 24th, 25th--whenever we are not required to be at the extended family gatherings. I hope that my children will learn that it is not important which day you celebrate on, but that you do make time to celebrate together.
So, there you have it, my Christmas rantings. Just needed to let off a little steam, and spare some innocent by-standers my tantrums. While I long for my own little 'peace on earth', I do hope and pray that you will find some too this Christmas season!

Grateful

Thanksgiving Day was October 9 for us Canadians. I'm glad that this year, this special occasion has been prolonged for us. We gathered with our families the weekend prior to Thanksgiving, because that's when most of us were around. The weekend of Thanksgiving, we shared lunch with our good friends at their home. The 9th was a holiday & day off from work, of course, but with no gatherings to attend, we were able to get a lot of work done on finishing out our basement. This past weekend, we celebrated with Thanksgiving Dinner at our church. And I'm not tired of being thankful, yet! Just some of the things I've learned over the years and in recent weeks...

I Am Thankful...

that God is real, and He loves me--so much that He sacrificed His Son, Jesus Christ to pay the penalty of my sin on a cruel cross, just to be with me. And when I am distracted by all the things this world has to offer me, He waits for me...and when my eyes are opened and I see what I'm really missing (again), He smiles at me and says "Come...". It is good to feel that loved...

that I have a loving husband who keeps coming home to me & the kids, even when I'm not that much fun to come home to...

for my 3 sons. I wouldn't want it any other way. I think God knew there were enough female hormones creating havoc in this household...

for family, in-laws and cousins that are fun to spend time with and easy to love...

for friends who are always glad to see us and spend time with us, even when we've been too busy for too long...

that we had such an awesome summer!

for God's provision of a job for hubby that he loves, and that provides enough income to meet our needs and even some wants. I complain sometimes about the crazy long hours he sometimes puts in, but then again, him working this job means I don't have to be out in the workforce and can stay at home to be there for our kids...

that we have a nice house to live in and that we are able to now finish building it and expand our living space x 2!

that my hubby can do and fix almost anything...

that even though I said we would learn to manage without, hubby decided to buy a new TV. I'm extra thankful that he was satisfied with a 27"...

that my teenage son--after spending Saturday afternoon with our church's youth group, and after church's Thanksgiving Dinner & Program the next day, said "That was fun!"

that someone brought a friend to Thanksgiving Dinner, and after we took turns saying what we were thankful for--the usual food, shelter, family & friends, free country, church--he asked to share his testimony with us. He came from Africa, where he suffered starvation, abuse, tip-toed around rotting bodies laying in the streets and saw his father shot dead, and where he learned that God was looking after him. We are blessed beyond recognition...

Obituary Of A Dear Friend

This past weekend, a dear friend of mine died. Actually, I haven't fully accepted that it really has happened, but when I go back to check, it's always the same conclusion. Dead. I have told myself for years that this would happen 'any day now', but now that it's here, I'm a little in shock.
She has been a good friend to me for the last 16 years, and I gave her more than enough of my attention & time, too. She was there for me, any time, day or night, any day of the week. I looked forward to re-living old experiences with her, and anticipated the new, exciting ones, too. Many sleepless nights I spent quietly with her, until I was lulled to sleep. Many painful hours, when nothing could distract me, she comforted me and kept me company. When my children were small, she was always available to entertain my children for a while, so I could grab a nap or get some dishes done. She has made me laugh and cry, sometimes when it seemed I'd forgotten how, or she caught me off guard...I've learned alot from her--she could spew information about any topic you could think of, and she could cause the imagination to run wild. She has told me and shown me breath-taking pictures of so many beautiful places on this earth, and I hope to someday go see some of them for myself. She also exposed me to some of the ugliness of the world, and made me thankful for the blessings in my life. She had a lot of connections--she even introduced me to Oprah and Dr. Phil! I'm not sure how I will cope without her...
She was always easily turned on...and off, for that matter. Until Saturday night.
I was watching my hubby work in the basement, and our boys decided to watch a DVD. But they came in a rush down the stairs and reported that something was terribly wrong. They tried to turn the television on, but nothing happened! We remained calm for the moment, and said we would be up shortly to fix the problem. But when we tried to turn it on, too, nothing happened. Upon pressing the POWER button, there was the familiar 'click' of TV On, followed by an involuntary 'click' of TV Off! We tried several different methods to revive her, but our efforts could not bring her back. She was gone.
In recent years, I often said, if our TV ever kicked the bucket, I wouldn't replace it right away. We would learn to live without it, and maybe even enjoy life a little more. I think it may be harder than I thought.
In lieu of flowers, friends may make a donation towards the purchase of a new one. Hubby is dreaming of a big screen...

Bugs & Blessings

I must say, it has been a lovely summer! I was sitting outside (again) yesterday afternoon, picking tiny hitchhiker burrs out of my son's socks before throwing them in the laundry, and couldn't help but thank the Lord (stay with me...). You see, we live in "the bush" (that means surrounded by forest, wild trees & shrubs, etc. - apparently "the bush" is a term that is common around here but not everywhere), and for the 4 summers that we have lived here, this is the first where I can sit outside any old time without first dousing myself in mosquito spray. Not only that, but I don't have to put on a sweater or a raincoat first, either! It has been an unusually hot, dry summer, which I have to say, is perfect for me. It's too bad that it poses a problem for the farmers & firefighters out there, 'cause I would like it this way every year. I don't mind watering my lawn & gardens a little more often. And a summer without mosquitos--that is just heaven!
The hot & dry weather has also caused an invasion of wasps & the like. I haven't really found it to be a problem here at home, but we went camping last week, and they were bad enough that we had to plan around them (sort of). I'm glad we had a screen tent to retreat to for our meals. But our first breakfast of pancakes & bacon (which we started eating outside the screen tent, because it wasn't up yet, on account of us arriving too late & too tired the day before) was less than enjoyable with those little creatures buzzing around. So, while I cooked and waved off wasps, hubby put up the tent. The boys ate breakfast in the tent, scarfing it down before the flying fiends could get at it. I wanted to get a picture, but we were all pretty preoccupied to stop and get the camera. The syrup-y plates that stacked up when we were done invited a whole swarm. Four or five of them found their way through the tiny hole of the bottle and were swimming in our syrup! Anyway, after that morning, we learned to do things differently to minimize our vulnerability to the nasty insects. I did comment to hubby, that I would be surprised to make it through our stay without anyone getting stung. And sure enough, our youngest got it. A wasp had gotten under his shirt and I guess felt trapped and stung him. He tried to be brave about it and didn't cry, but was white as a ghost & felt sick for about a half hour! None of our boys had ever been stung at all before, so I hoped that being stung would at least alleviate that fear of the unknown. So while the youngest became running scared of everything that buzzed around him, our middle son just stayed still and let them crawl all over him if necessary. He even let one land on his face, cleaning up the remains of his last meal off of his lips!! We told him that was unnecessary and maybe even asking for trouble. We learned that the wasps are almost non-existent in the evenings, and by supper-time we could eat outside and sit around the fire safely. We had an enjoyable 4 night stay at our favorite campground, and it was the kind of relaxation we have not had for quite some time. Hubby had to be readily available by cell-phone and emails the first 2 days, but the weekend was work-free. Of course, Friday brought in all the weekend partiers, and we (hubby & I) hardly slept a wink on account of the rowdies in the 3 sites across from us. They christened their weekend shortly after arrival with smoking and passing around something and smoking it, and I'm not sure what they ate but they had plenty to drink. The conversation & behavior was such that I was very busy trying to occupy my children's minds, eyes & ears with whatever I could to distract them. We decided to file a complaint at the campground office, and while the officers won't tell you how they will take care of the problem, we did notice a few less people the next night, and it was much quieter, too. They were even shush-ing each other quite a bit! I don't like being a party-pooper, but my kids don't need to see & hear that stuff. And I need my sleep! Everything else about the camping trip was really enjoyable. This was the closest thing to a holiday we'll have this year, so I'm glad it went well. We had great weather--no rain, and even some real beach weather. I enjoy the beach a whole lot more now that my kids are older and are more confident in the water. I can actually relax a bit, and playing in the water with them is more fun, too. I was also reminded how fortunate I am to have such good kids. Almost everywhere you look, you see some kid throwing a tantrum or disregarding their parents. While I am aware that my time may be coming, I am thankful for the real blessing that they have been/are to me (& others). I really enjoy being with them and watching them. It saddens me that summer's almost over...enjoy the blessings while you can!

I'm just busy...

It is definitely summer. My kids are home from school, and life has taken on a whole new meaning. Suddenly the house that is for most of the year quiet is a-buzz with activity. Rarely are all 5 of us home at one time, and once in a while a few extra faces appear, too. Then this morning the grandparents picked up the kids to spend a few days at a lake resort with them. It didn't take long for the silence to be uncomfortable! Funny how in just a few weeks we adapt to a new normal.
So, the reason I haven't posted lately is that I don't seem to own a computer anymore. With 3 boys taking turns on it throughout the day, it gets its share of attention. And even though one of my previous postings revealed how I occasionally become obsessed with the blog-ing world, I'm not drawn to it much with the kids around. I still find some of it intriguing, but some of it is downright offensive to me and I certainly wouldn't want their eyes to stumble upon it. And honestly, I don't think I want to spend my precious summer in front of the computer. I wait too long and hard for this season, so forgive me if you don't hear from me much until September!

I think I'm addicted...

Since I was introduced to the world of blogging just a couple of weeks ago (thanx wm!), I have been sucked into the black hole of cyberspace! I can't help myself, I just keep clicking 'next blog' like some kind of junkie. Like the gambler, I am always hoping that 'the next one will be the payoff' - something in ENGLISH, that isn't about politics or World Cup Soccer. Fortunately, my kids and hubby jerk me back into the real world every now and then with questions like:
Are we gonna have supper any time soon?
Are you coming to bed tonight?
Did you accidentally crazy-glue your index finger to the mouse?
I am one who easily gets addicted to things--games, food, hobbies--usually nothing too dangerous (I thank God I never gave smoking an honest try!), and usually not for an extended amount of time. Probably because I do really care about people more. Herein lies the problem: there are a lot of people out there blogging about some serious issues, and I can't help but feel like they need me to listen! I think I am officially co-dependent. I've always suspected it, but now I'm convinced. I feel sorry for those who post for months & months, and never get any comments. Of course, not everyone that's out there blogging is looking for feedback, but what if they are? So, when I come across someone who seems like they are, I usually try to send them a friendly comment. Just doing my part to make the world a better place!

Well, I think I should get on with my day...groceries to buy, flowers to water, laundry to do, supper to plan...I should probably bake some cookies today, as my youngest reminded me that I said I would yesterday, with just a little guilt-trip dripping off the end. Sorry to all my fellow bloggers out there, but today my little one needs me to be the hero and bake some cookies, so hopefully someone else will read your posts and make your day! See, I can quit anytime I want...