Hello? Is this thing on?

Well, I don't know if there's anyone out there who is waiting for me to start blogging again, but here I am. I make no guarantees about how often I'll show up. I started a part-time job last August and it seems I no longer have any 'free' time! I couldn't even remember how to login to this thing! A friend of ours is going through a traumatic event right now and is posting on their own blog, which I am checking on almost daily, which got me to thinking about this world that I used to visit a lot and enjoy, so I decided to try to reconnect. Blah, blah, blah...I am explaining myself, but not apologizing for my absence...I'm busy with life and that's a good thing!

A 3-Minute Life Story

Can I have a few minutes of your time?

"I grew up in a Christian home, and so from very young I knew who Jesus was and why it is important to have a relationship with Him. That's not to say that I had a picture-perfect life. Like everyone else who is born onto this planet, I have faults and issues that I struggle with. But knowing Jesus has made the difference between living a life of constant conflict and suffering, and living a life of hope and security.

One of the strongest driving forces in my life was the need to be in control of things. My ideas were always better, I was always right, and if things didn't go the way I thought they should, the results would be less than perfect, maybe even disastrous. Looking back, I can see several instances where God tried to teach me some life lessons about learning to let things go, although I didn't see it then and therefore missed opportunities to learn from my mistakes.

But...about 10 years ago, my hubby and I filed for bankruptcy. A few years earlier, we had purchased a hog farm. At first, the farm was doing well and the future looked very promising for us. Then we hit some hard financial times, as hog market prices fell and feed prices soared, and a devastating disease hit our herd. To top it all off, in desperation some business decisions were made that made things worse. It was a point in my life were things were definitely out of my control. The fact that my hubby and I were not in agreement in how to solve these problems only made our already difficult marriage more miserable. As I prayed and prayed about this desperate situation, God told me the same thing over and over: 'This is not going to work out the way you want it to, but you need to trust Me to see you through it.' It was about a year that I struggled to "let go", as our debt grew and our marriage continued to fall apart. I was not about to break my marriage vows and divorce my husband, but I was sure I was doomed to life of misery in staying. Still, I tried to believe God, that He would somehow see us through. Eventually, our financial advisors confirmed to us that we would need to file for bankruptcy. Let go. Hubby and I were in agreement that this was the next step to take. And while there were many hardships in that decision and the months and years to follow, the healing in our marriage began. When I think of how ugly our marriage had been, and how God has turned things around, I am in awe--and it gives me hope for any hurting marriage out there. And while I have faith that God is completely in control of everything and can deliver me from any desperate, hopeless situation with one word from His holy lips, I also know that He is still in control when He simply says He'll see me through to the other side. I am learning to 'let go and let God', and He is proving Himself faithful over and over again."

We were given an assignment in our adult Sunday School class to prepare a 3-minute testimony that we could easily share with someone who didn't know Jesus. I have shared my testimony, or life story, before in Christian circles, but I could never keep it to just a few minutes! Jesus has been a big part of my life for many years now, and there's a lot to say about our relationship. It was a definite challenge for me to whittle it down to a few minutes that still held the important message - that having a personal relationship with Jesus Christ makes all the difference. My life story (and everybody has one) is a great introduction to the message of Salvation provided by a loving God through His Son Jesus Christ.

If you are a Christian, I challenge you to prepare your own 3-minute life story, keeping a few points in mind:
1) What has been a driving force in your life? Some general factors - fear, anger, a need to please others, materialism, guilt, etc.(mine was a need to be in contol)
2) What was the crisis or event that caused you to seek out God?
3) How has knowing Jesus made the difference in your life?
4) Prepare and practice telling your story, so that you are ready when someone is looking for answers that only Jesus can give.
"But in your hearts set apart Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have..." - I Peter 3:15

If you are not a Christian, but would like to know more about having a relationship with Jesus, I'd be glad to tell you the whole story. You can comment here or e-mail me at rsmarten (at) mts (dot) net.

Pot Party, Anyone?

I get a kick out of one of our local greenhouses advertising 'pot party' Tuesdays and Thursdays! I wonder if they ever get people showing up who thought it might be something entirely different than planting flowers and greeneries into beautiful ceramic pots. Does sound like fun though...the planting flowers, I mean.

I mentioned in my last post that I wanted to buy some new pots this year to adorn my yard & (future) deck with, and that I was finding them to be ridiculously expensive. Well, yesterday I paid $19 for a ceramic pot - which is not too bad - unless of course you bought it because you broke it, then it's a little more painful. I had just dropped my kids off at school and thought I would just check out the nursery nearby. I wanted to see if they'd gotten more shrubs & trees in so I walked around outside a bit, but the cold wind took the joy out of it for me and I decided to head home. As I left the parking lot, I was sure I had enough room to clear the display of ceramic pots in front of my van, but apparently not. I guess I should be glad I only broke one. To add insult to injury, I was not really dressed for this occasion. I had thrown on some dirty mismatched clothes, pulled my bed-head mop into a ponytail, and wiped the smudged mascara from under my eyes as I ran out the door to deliver my kids to school on time. My decision to stop at the nursery was under the assumption that I would just be looking around, outside, where I likely would not run into anyone, and not be purchasing anything so no human interaction was required. Well, after my little mishap, I had to go in to make restitution, but nobody was at the counter for a while. So, while I waited for a clerk, people started trickling in, and I was getting more and more fearful that I would soon be discovered by someone I knew. Low and behold, a school bus full of Kindergartners from my son's school shows up, and I knew the teacher and several of the moms who were chaperoning the field trip! At least this entourage brought out the staff and I finally was able to pay for the smashed pot and beat a path out of there. This time, I went straight home.

Hooray For Spring!

Hooray for Spring! Last night, as I was relaxing in my lawn chair for a bit, surveying the results of my hard work that day (de-thatching & raking the lawn), I was suddenly overwhelmed with joy...winter is gone! Sure we may see a snowfall here or there yet, but WINTER IS GONE! My perennials are poking through the dirt and treebuds are starting to swell. I can't help but feel like new life is sprouting in me, too. It's been a rough winter. I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired. I had strep throat in mid-February, and battled variations of that for nearly a month, and it always worsened when I had a busy day/weekend. Last week, I struggled with laryngitis, which seems to be almost cleared up. This week, just sinus issues, which I can even pass off as allergies since I've been working outside a fair bit. I've been feeling better in the last couple of weeks, but something is still lingering, I fear, and am still very tired. Going to see my doctor today. Wonder if this time there will be any proof that it isn't all in my head.
Anyway didn't mean to bring the mood down! I went to a nursery yesterday, eager to start dreaming and planning and spending a $50 gift certificate I received. They were just getting organized, and I felt a little like they didn't really appreciate me there right now. So I will have to wait a little longer. I have to try to restrain myself this year; last year I went a little crazy. But this year I want to invest in some new pots, and it's apalling how much I'm being asked to pay for the really nice ones. We are planning to build our deck this summer, so I would like to have some pots for that, too. Can you tell I'm really into gardening? Last Spring, I posted How Can You Tell I'm New At This? and if you're looking for a little more "inspiration" check it out.

I Love My Kids!

At the dinner table tonight, there was the usual banter as my three ravenous children are filling their plates. The oldest was also dishing out some light-hearted teasing, as seems to be his specialty since entering the teenage years, and it was getting annoying - like an unending "you are too!""am not!" discussion. I finally interjected.

"Must you be so relentless with your younger brothers?"

Middle child, true to his kind, offers this defense for his older brother:

"On the road to manhood, he must beat a rough path."

To which we all had a good laugh and got down to the business of eating. Did I mention middle child is 11?

*******************

I got the message today. The one that most mothers of my shape & size will eventually get from one of their beloved offspring who are oblivious to the fact that they are at least part of the reason why their moms carry a little extra weight on their frames. Upon seeing a TV commercial on TV for a local weightloss clinic, my youngest lovingly suggested that maybe I should try their program out. I looked at him and he quickly added, "Not that I think you're fat or anything!" I decided to let him live another day anyway.

Pondering Pizza

When it comes to posting I have trouble remembering and commenting on the lighter fare in my life, a true testimony to the brooding kind of person that I am. Today, I feel like I need a break from my brain. Yesterday was a tough day to be at home alone with myself! It exhausted me so, and when the kids came home from school, they saw me sprawled on the floor in the TV room with blankets & pillows watching Oprah. TV is one of my vices when I just can't take it anymore, I'll admit. It has become more difficult, though, since (1) we've been down to one TV for this family of five, (2) it was moved from the living room with the comfy couch to the newly constructed family room with only less-comfortable chairs to sit in (3) children are getting older and gradually crowding those of us who are actually in charge around here out of TV time. Anyway, my youngest sits down next to me and tells me a bit about his day at school - it was a good one. His favorite part was the school bus fire safety drill at the end of the day and upon re-entering the bus, he heard a "1 & a half songs from the AM/FM stereo playing", which seemed to thrill him to no end (he even thanked God for it in his bedtime prayers)! He then proceeded to tell me that he thought it would be a good day to go out for supper. He's a bit intuitive, that one, as he often will suggest this when I'm looking a little worse for wear and like any supper I might manage to make that day will likely be equally unappealing. So I respond with a very non-commital "you think so, eh?". Shortly thereafter, the phone rings, and I'm quite sure it is hubby calling, so I get youngest to answer the phone. He loves to chat with his dad on the phone, and I love to hear him chat with his dad on the phone, and daddy loves it that at least one person in this household besides him loves to chat on the phone, so it's good all around. Anyway, he chit chats a bit and then says, "Can we go out for supper today, dad - mom thinks we should go out for supper!" By the look on his face, he was quite sure I had, until I laughed and pointed out loud enough for daddy to hear that I had said no such thing, and he realized his subtle manipulation tactics had failed. This guy scares me a little, once in a while!
I was not in the mood for going out for supper, but I did have a hankering for pizza, and since I was even less in the mood for making it, decided to order for pick-up(...hmmm...I suppose you could still chalk one up for the little guy, huh?). Pizza is never really a simple solution around here, since we all prefer different ones (Pizza Hut, Dominos, Pizza Hotline, etc.) and it seems to be less cost effective with our boys getting older and eating more. Plus middle child likes pizza but finds himself with headaches or stomach aches as a result of some of them. So I asked him which pizza he would like me to order. He said that Niakwa is the only one he knows he can eat (they order it at school on pizza Fridays) without feeling sick after. Ironically, I used to get violently ill when I ate Niakwa pizza, so we haven't ordered it ever. I always thought Niakwa was the best, too, until I finally made the connection. As a result, I have not eaten it for probably 20 years or so. A couple of years ago, I so badly wanted to try some again, so at a pizza party I ate mostly another kind but topped it off with one piece of Niakwa and low and behold it was just as delicious as I remembered it to be and glory be, I did not get sick! Yesterday, I took the big step and ordered just Niakwa pizza for me and my family. It was the cheapest pizza bill I've had in a long time (they were having a special of 2 larges for $29.99) and we all loved the pizza for a change. I could faintly hear the angel's choir "aahh-ing" in the background! I enjoyed it so much, I nearly ate myself sick for eating too much! But I didn't get sick--nobody got sick--and we even had leftovers! I had cold pizza for breakfast --Niakwa's the best for that, too. I feel like a long lost love has been returned to me! Whatever it was about Niakwa that made me sick years ago, it seems I have outgrown it...I wonder if there are other joys I am missing for fear of what once was...uugghh!...leave it to me to get all analytical again - over pizza.

Who Are You?

I have been snooping around a bit lately again, looking for more interesting blogs to add to my favorites (I have several, but don't link them on my site). Interestingly enough, I have discovered some blogs of people that I know a little bit about, but then am a little surprised by the things they say (or don't say) on their blogs. It is so interesting to compare the people we see face to face to the (same) people who pour out their souls in written word. Which is the real deal? Are the things we write an idealized version of who we claim to be? Or is what we write about ourselves authentic, and what those around us see is simply a mask? Really, I think we are just such complicated beings, and it's hard to package ourselves completely to present an authentic self to those around us from day to day.
I wonder if people who say "I need to find myself" ever really do. If they do, do they like who they find? or are they sorry they ever went there? How long before they discover that they no longer are that old self they found last time, and have to start the search again?! In any case, I feel sorry for them, because in reality they are struggling to know fully who they are in themselves and I think we are designed by our Creator not to. Why? Because what really matters is who we are in Him, and to not be satisfied with that means that we are looking for another god, often times in our own self.
I mentioned a few posts ago, that I was learning a lot through a Bible study called Believing God by Beth Moore, and was going to eventually share some insights. I don't just want to spew information that you can read for yourself in her book, but rather share my own experiences in relation to what I've learned. That, too, is complicated. I haven't really known where to start. But writing this post has reminded me of a statement from the Pledge of Faith that we stated and explored every week in our sessions:
1. God is who He says He is.
2. God can do what He says He can do.
3. I am who God says I am.
4. I can do all things through Christ.
5. God's Word is alive and active in me.
The Bible--God's Word--has some very specific things to say about who we are. We tend to pay closer attention, though, to who we say we are, or who others say we are. I can't think of a better way to "find myself" than to read what my Creator says about me! There is a blog that I have discovered where the author in "About Me" writes, "The essence of myself is to complicated even for me to understand. That is one of the reasons I am so glad that I know a Friend by whom I am fully known." Read Psalm 139 for more inspiration.

How Many Countries Do You Know?

I just completed a 10 minute test on naming as many countries of the United Nations as you can and didn't do so well--I only named 47 of the 192. Can you do better? Click here to test yourself: http://andys.org.uk/countryquiz/